Death Dealers
In an additional effort to protect Americans from terrorists and
criminals, I am taking a page from my vampyre ways and beliefs.

I will introduce the world to my elite counter-terrorist, anti-crime
group called; Jonathon's Presidential Death Dealers, at a press
conference in New Jersey at the beginning of 2007.

The Death Dealers are the "Special Force Group" of the 1st VWP
Militia Regiment that I am the Commanding General of.

This elite group consist of female and male vampyres, who are not
only be in charge of my family, as well as my personal security,
they will carry out my orders to execute criminals, and bring to me
those sentenced to be IMPALED.

I will not have the US Secret Service Agents (Secret Squirrels - as I
now call them) at The White House. Nor will I be under their
protection during my campaign or upon becoming President. My
own people (vampyres) will protect me, my wife and my family.

The Death Dealers' executive/authoritative powers will be second
only to mine and the Vice-President.

This group will be above the US Department of Justice, the US
Department of Defense, Homeland Security, the CIA and the FBI.
No US Department will have authority over them. They will only
take orders from me.

However, let any of them conduct themselves in a manner that
resembles the KGB or the Bush Administration, and I will personally
torture and IMPALE them.

Their mission is to serve America, and protect Americans from any
and all acts of terrorism, criminal deeds, and bring justice to the

Administration, with the assistance of this elite group of Vampyres,
all Americans will enjoy victory. Victory over terrorism and

Nel Sangue,

Jonathon "The Impaler"

Anyone from the Vampyre Community believes they have what it
takes to become a Death Dealer, please email:                                
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